ADVENTURES OF A SEX AND DRUG ADDICT
REVIEW BY SARA DARLING
Following a successful career in brand communications, Ruth Phypers now works as a holistic healer, devoted Buddhist and yoga practitioner, and that is how I happened to meet her, without realising anything of her past.
Working on me using Low Laser Light Therapy to target my fine lines and wrinkles, we formed a bond, and I was intrigued when she shyly offered me her first penned book to read. We all have back stories, but certain people have faced one too many battles and overcome adversities to make them interesting enough to share.
Reading biographies of people you don’t know can sometimes seem a bit pointless. Who are these people and why is their story more interesting than mine? However if it’s someone who has turned their life around and writes with eloquence and honesty, it’s like reading fiction. And with the strap line, ‘Adventures of a Sex and Love Addict’, there was no doubt I was intrigued by a voyeuristic insight into someone else’s life. However do not expect don’t expect throbbing bodies and sweat drenched elicit soirees, Phypers provides a no holds barred peephole into her relationships that were dangerous, painful and questioned her own sanity.
Searching for affection since childhood, Phypers has always been attracted to both men and women; And suffering sexual abuse from a male teacher who was also a family friend, aged eight, meant her subsequent relationships fell into the cycle of manipulation and psychological abuse. Her relationship with her religious father was also tense, and without any support she fended for herself in the only way she know how- by seeking affection.
Leaving home and moving to London where she discovered drugs, was a spiral downwards, and she formed hedonistic relationships with countless men and women; All failing in part due to paranoia, dependency and trust issues, which lead lead to a repetitive cycle of depression, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts and crippling anxiety around relationships (both intimate and professional).
But with all addictions, the addict has to be the one who wants to quit, and it is the honesty of realising that she is an addict which is the most touching.... After failed relationships, careers and mental breakdown, Phypers almost admits defeat, but eventually finds solace in a Sex Addiction help group; Like AA, there is support from other members who have experienced a self-destructive circle of unavailable partners and short-lived affairs.
The recovery programme taught her that she was a worthy human being-worthy of love, and along with Buddhism is her key to finding inner peace. This along with chanting and yoga is an uplifting finale which brings closure on her self-inflicted shame and culminates in optimism and is an uplifting read for anyone who is on a path of transformation from suffering to self-realisation.
Reporting on cultural and creative events along with a broad view of social issues.
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